I'm the kind of person who thinks it's important to focus on the true meaning of days like this. So when a Facebook friend shared a video tribute to fallen soldiers, I didn't skip over it. And that led me to watch a few more Memorial Day tributes on YouTube. Some were good and some were not so good. Here is my favorite. I'll let the images speak for themselves.
I'm also thinking of Phillip today.
Phillip, my beautiful, smart, funny, tenderhearted nephew, who came back from Iraq safe and sound - twice. Thank the Lord.
It's official. I am not a psychopath. I know this because I took the test yesterday. I took the test yesterday because I was listening to This American Life, my favorite Saturday NPR show. I like other Saturday NPR shows like Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me and Prairie Home Companion, but This American Life is my favorite. The topic yesterday was psychopaths.
I know. "What a strange topic", one might say. I agree. But that show has a way of making any topic interesting and psychopathy was no exception. The kind of show where you sit in the car in the parking lot for 15 minutes so you don't miss any of it.
Anyway...so the psychopath test was easy. You respond to 20 statements with a zero, one, or two, depending on how much the statement describes you. Out of a possible 40 points I scored a zero.
Whew. What a relief. I had really been questioning my mental stability the last few days because I had been thinking terrible thoughts and almost saying terrible things. My coworkers can attest. I considered myself a menace to the school on Thursday.
I suppose I can attribute it all to stress and it will soon pass. Anyone who has spent 166 days herding six and seven-year-olds is bound to turn a bit coo-koo. All I know is that I'm irritated by just about everyone I see - even the person in the mirror.
So...since I now know for sure that I'm not a psychopath, I'll just get through this time by using my usual coping strategies. I pray about it. I make sure I'm eating right, exercising, and getting enough sleep. I find a person to talk to. I find ways to distract myself, like going to a movie or playing a game.
Speaking of playing games - that's how I made it through my grocery shopping earlier today without assaulting anyone. You see...I don't enjoy grocery shopping. It's not the groceries that bother me. It's all the shoppers. And since I also know that it's not really about all the shoppers, it's all about me and my attitude, I play a few games with myself to help make the drudgery bearable and sometimes just plain fun.
One game I play is what I guess I could call "Don't Look at the List". I check my grocery list after I park and then I put it away. I then try to see if I can get everything on the list without looking. When I think I've got everything, I get my list out and check it. If I remembered everything, I say to myself "You rock" and proceed directly to the shortest checkout line. If I didn't remember everything, I just shrug and continue shopping.
Game number two is to count the number of people wearing Thunder shirts or caps. Today I only saw two people wearing Thunderwear. Surprising-considering we're starting round two of the playoffs tomorrow.
The last game I play is "The Price is Right". As I'm putting my groceries on the conveyor belt, I estimate how much it's going to cost. If I can guess the price within five dollars (without going over, of course), I'm a winner and I imagine myself jumping up and down and hugging Bob Barker's neck before running over the check out my new car. A couple of weeks ago my estimate was less that a dollar away from the total. That would have won me both showcases. Today I was really off my game because I was more than $10 dollars low. I could hear "The Price is Right" loser song playing in my head.
Well... I feel a bit better about life just spending time writing. Thank you for listening to my ramblings.
